Run AWAY ?

Have you ever had this urge to run away from a task , a place , a person or from yourself ?? Well
i am having it . I want to run away from myself , i want to run away form this place , i want to run away yes but i don't know where i want to go ??? I don't know why i am stuck here in a paradox , i don't know what exams i have to give ?? I don't know what requests i have to fulfill i don't know what questions i have to answer and i don't know why i am like this ??
All i know is somewhere inside me their is a fighter who just doesn't want to let me run , who still gives me hope , who still wants to see me as a winner even after defeat and more defeats , their is this someone who wants me to fight and i will listen to him and walk again , for no matter what life for me is TRYING AND TRYING TILL YOU SUCCEED .........

Numb

Has it everhappened to you that your heart just goes NUMB , it feels nothing .......your mind stops working , well it happens in just two cases when u fall in love and when you fall out of it ....
and in my case finally after a lot of struggling , lot of fighting i am free . So how does it feels to get your heart crushed ?? How does it feels to know that things did not work out ..... ah !! it feels a lil bad , but the point is the pain will subside in a few days and i can move on then , i can fly again like a free bird in this endless sky . So who do i blame for all this anguish ?? Frankly no one .. not even myself . I never knew things were like this that they will take a turn like this ...
And good that it happened now , the sooner it had happened the better it would have been ....
Good for me i hope , Anyways i hope one day i will be writing some thing positive about love too , i mean someday my day will come too .. when every damn thing wil work out , till then all i can do is hope and wait , and i do believe other word for hope is life so i have to live my life and hope .
Gosh ..... the castle just broke , it had too i suppose anyways the pain will be buried with sands of Time , i am happy and i blame no one for this .... and its ok GOD .... you must have decided when i do get the one .....

This day next year

hello everyone ... so howz life ?? hope everything is fine at your end .....its fine here at my end too. So i was just thinking and a thought struck me where will i be next year on this very day ...
11 September 2009 .. I dnt know , but lets see i could be in bangalore or noida working for one of the 2 companies that selected me .. or maybe at home waiting for my joining i dont know ...

Anyways the pint is i will not be here in JIET , i will not be here with my roomies....and i will miss them , well it seems funny i always wanted to get out of here , get rid of this place from my life but now as the time approaches to go , i am feeling a little bad ..........just a little yes !!!

life's challenging

ok ..so i am back here again writing dis piece the 56th of my bllog to be precise ...
Life has been good all these days nothing interesting as such guess all 's fine .... i thought i was like falling in love but i got drowned i think ...anyways i am fine no worries at all , anyways we won an olmypic gold and 2 bronze medals .... this olympic and the media and the press is going ga ga over these sportstars ...ya they deserve everybit of it ...but give a thought to those also who were left out ..... we make these winners heroes and forget the others ..ok maybe it as not their day this time but still we can give them some attention , they are all national champions ofcourse ... anyways lets talk about me i am having this project on digital watermarking and seriously saying i dont know whats going to happen ? i dont know if i will complete it or not but yup i am enjoying the experience ....

i am enjoying this challenge of doing this thing and learning i dont care if i complete it or not but ya i hope it will be a journey worth undertaking .... guess many people dont get a chance to have an easy life like me , gosg maybe i am so lucky thank you god :) ...
once again dont know what all i have scribbled here its pretty random i didnt have any specifiec agenda by the wa a friend asked me to scribble something about kashmir well i will only like to say , no one has the right to play with the lives of people of j&k , i dnt know the ground situation and frankly my friend who is in jammu right now said that media only tells half the story , so based on it all i can say is that it could have been avoided if our politicians didnt want some bagful of votes ..... anyways till the next time good bye ..

Random Thoughts

First of all i would like to start by thanking the almighty .....god thanks for everything . Life is very fulfilling at the moment and i hope it remains the same forever ....... so I am in fourth year and that is the newest things about me right now .... and i am for a change having lots of time at my disposal ... Luck has been on ma side and i have met some wonderful people too ... one of hem has become ma close friend . Anyways there has been these flurry of bomb blasts among various parts of our country and i am aghast . I don't know where are we heading really , the government machinery has really failed i mean check out the current status of India .....

Inflation in double digits , Bomb blasts , pollution level rising , weak economy its been a very challenging time and government has failed to deliver ...... and who can forget MP's holding up bundles of notes in the parliament ... i am not anti upa or pro nda but this plight of country is terrifying and i know its very easy to sit up and right ...that's what i am doing but at the moment i don't think i can do much ...Hopefully things will settle down .. and perhaps government can't do much about inflation because i myself wrote an article last October in which i told about the Oil Production peaking . Peak Level is the level where we get maximum oil from our existing resources all over the world .... Anyways CAT is coming and well i am sorry for myself cause i have lost out on this year for sure .... i dnt know i have been kind of confused after getting a job that should give cat or work cause i think a hands on industry experience will do me a world of good , then maybe after two years i can give it a shot ....anyways this is the only option left i think .... what else ?? well yes can anyone tell me how can we stop ourselves from falling in love . Absurd question i think and i don't think it has an answer , i am of the opinion that as you cant stop heart from beating ,mind from thinking you cant stop urself form luving someone ..

Happyness

In continuation with my last post where i talked about satisfaction and happiness i want to add something here i got acomment from neha saying "how do you fdefine happines?"
well i thought over it and came up with this answer that you are happy when ou are satisfied ..it works like this if you are satisfied with your life even though you be a miser you'll be happy and if you have everything still you arent content than you will never be happy ....
i dnt know i am norta philosopher but i realised this while i was orking on a project last week i took me three hours to get a simple module working ,three hours of intense hardwork applying all the concepts i have learnt and when that module worked i felt happy ...cause i was satisfied ..

i realised that all of us end up running after thing instead of just being satisfied and enjoyinh what we have ... some of us including me ( i being no exception ) are not happy because we are searching for love maybe not having a gal friend makes us happy ,some of us want more and more money ,some want a more trendier hair style ,cell phone whatever ....

i dont know maybe its satisfaction what we should crave for instead of being happy and happiness ,hopefully will be ours then ...

Satisfaction --will i ever find it ??

I dont know .i have two jobs but i am not that happy . i have so many friends a good life better then many people but i am not happy .. i want more i dont know why ?? i am just not satisfied . inside me there is an urge to grow to prove myself again .to have baptism by fire again why ?? i dnt know perhaps because somethings just didnot went according to what i thought ..u know today i experience one of the worst feeling of life where u have everything still you feel like a miser ..an insane freak running after happiness ... and whenever i am looking to be happy ,it moves away ...god kicks it further ..nah its not god its destiny ...but i will trudge on ,i will live cause life is this ..living for new goals ,new ambitions and Pursuing that insatiable dream of being happy