Satisfaction --will i ever find it ??

I dont know .i have two jobs but i am not that happy . i have so many friends a good life better then many people but i am not happy .. i want more i dont know why ?? i am just not satisfied . inside me there is an urge to grow to prove myself again .to have baptism by fire again why ?? i dnt know perhaps because somethings just didnot went according to what i thought ..u know today i experience one of the worst feeling of life where u have everything still you feel like a miser ..an insane freak running after happiness ... and whenever i am looking to be happy ,it moves away ...god kicks it further ..nah its not god its destiny ...but i will trudge on ,i will live cause life is this ..living for new goals ,new ambitions and Pursuing that insatiable dream of being happy

Not Afraid AnyMore

Ya the monster is there but i am not afraid anymore , i mean i can't stop anyone from liking anyone . All i can do is open my heart up and leave the rest to the person upstairs , so i dont fear the monster anymore .

so this is what i scribbled some days ago on my cell , thats what i am half of my writings are first done on my cell my NokiA 1100 --- really love you . u r my notepad

coming back to the lines

So many things go through my mind ,
when i think of you,
how will it be with you,
what will i do without you
in the end
i am just happy to know you ...

yup , whatever has to happen will happen , life will move on it doesn't stop for anyone but i'll always be there for her

i don't know ??

well this one is one of those posts which wasnt planned at all ,is as spontaneous as it can get. hmm i have been thinking who i am ?? Sounds a little philosophical but then i guess everyone does think about himself at a stage in his life and well i found myself to be an "Overpossesive Idiot" at times , i just love my family, my friends and sometimes i can just do anything for them that crosses the limits of decency , i don't know but i can't just cure this disease of mine , i mean being overpossesive for family is fine but for friends i don't think so cause at the end of day everyone has their own lves and maybe they don't like you to interfear in their lives ??
I want to shutup all my emotions inside me and act like a stone but i can't i just can't . I don't know but if i don't cure this cancer maybe i will suffer someday . God knows what will happen if future but i hope things fall my way .