Shattered

Today i m shattered really will i be serious euf for my dreams

can i save myself from being just ordinary :( ?

i dnt know

i m sorry for myself .....

Songs i like to listen

These are some of the songs i like to listen the most . The kind of music i like .....

The songs i am putting up here today are by Raghu Dixit Project . I hope all of you must have listened to their music.

http://raghudixit.com/music/

Hope you enjoy these songs as much as i do .......

Ps : the copyright to all these songs belong to Raghudixit Project

To move away

To move away

from your infectious sight

from your contagious smile

from your glowing face

seems hard

and it breaks me into

many small parts

why me always

i ask

why me everytime

i question

I close my eyes

i can still see

you and me

the springs , the autums

the winters and those rains

those mornings and noons

and those evenings

all those were ordinary

but your presence made

them unforgettable and special

why cant we be together

why did we have to meet

if at the end we just had to MOVE ON

why were you to become some special

if at the end you had to be just a friend

why were you to touch the core of my heart

if you had to break it one day

to move on

and away from you

brings me pain

but its something

i have to do

cause being with you now

just doesnt feel the same

Hard Hard Times

Yeah, time after college have been hard . You goota be at the top of your game if you have to survive in this world , there are no free rides avaliable for anyone. Some part of life you gottame for struggle and make your way up the ladder and that time for me is now and i am not gonna give up on myself and my dreams so easily , nah never , i cant loose i wll never loose cause i am not a looser i a winner and i will prove it.

Silly times these are

for no matter what you do

you always end up miles short

of the place you thought u would reach

Silly times these are

for no matter what you do

you are always being mocked at

but in the silly times

you have to ge up and give your best

you have always said

u r the best

and people have called you silly

but its in these silly times u gotta get up

and prove urself!!

I am Lost

 I don't know what to post here . Does this blog belong to me ??  I am coming here to scribble something after a very very long time and i am all but lost. I don't know but the going has been tough for me as far as cat preparations are concerned . I am just not doing anything and its depressing for me . As far as joining is concerned no good news on that front either , and i am just getting myself into a mess sitting at home IDLE doing nothing but orkutting , chatting .......

They say when you want something badly you work for it with all you have then why am i resigning to this fate i just cant understand this. There is so much to work for , there is so much to do and i am here wasting my time like an idiot . 

I will have to give me a reason for working hard . I would have to take my decisions , have confidence in myself and start working else i will be screwed. I will have to work according to a plan and that's what i will be doing now . I am not a looser and will never accept defeat i will keep on trying no matter what the end result is this i promise myself.  I will have to enjoy whatever i am doing.

Lets start all over again and be sincere in this attempt....

i will rise

i will rise 

for no one else but myself 

i will prove myself 

to satiate no one else 

but myself 

One day i will have what ever i desire and all world will be at my feet . Just wait and watch and for all those who mock me well so called friends it will be you who will be the ones congratulating me.

I will make it to the top of the ladder and fulfill all my dreams no matter how much i bleed , how much i sacrifice , how much pain i have to go and how may tests i have to take. 

I will not give up, till i prove myself . Yes i am special and i am unlike all of you and i will prove it to you and if not i will rather die trying than accept defeat. 

Give up never 

Fight for yourself forever 

for its the fighter who wins 

and even if he dies 

his soul rests in peace. 

This is my story , my life , my struggle , and my pursuit of destiny . I just know one aim , one lakshay . The battle has begun , the shots are being fired I have to perform and scale the mountain or die trying . I am a soldier who knows only victory, whatever it takes to get there i have to give. 

I m happy

i m happy

for i see some hope

i m happy

for i think the country has been saved from clutches of MAYAWATI

Her dreams of becoming the prime minister of INDIA has dashed for hopefully another five years and that makes me proud of mandate given by electorate this time.

As far as Manmohan Singh is concerned well he has his work cut out in times of economic recession i dont think he will affect my life much , life goes on and on and on . Leaders ans governments come and go but still he was the most able person among the candidates for top post and its good that he became the PM again.

I have nothing personal against Mayawati just that i dont like her corrupt image i am not a racist just a patriotic Indian who wants his country to progress and those who are fighting elections on bases of caste and creed well this is not going to work anymore atleast for the regional parties .

Is this what you call love ?

Is this what you call love ?

They said they loved each other , 

they promised to live together 

and part never ever

 

They said they needed each other 

and one was  incomplete without the other 

They said they were in love 

and come what may 

nothing can take them away 

 

Time flew 

two years  down the drain 

SHE said its time to part

 

She said you were not my choice 

and he was left wondering what went wrong 

 

She said its all over 

he was thinking where did he falter 

 

She said we can be friends 

he asked her 

what about the promises you made 

and swears you took 

pledging yourself to me forever 

 

And thus they parted 

for no reason her love evaporated....  

 

and he was left wondering 

where he went wrong 

 

how could he be duped 

for three long years 

and could never see through the eyes 

he would stare for hours everyday.

 

he always loved her 

always respeced her 

and made her strong 

 

When ever things went wrong 

he would be there for her 

 

And look what she did 

she didnt even think twice 

 

before one fine day 

calling up and saying  

 " I am in love with another guy again " 

 

I said  lets call her names 

lets make her realise thats its not fun 

playing with others emotions 

 

He said please don't say anything about her 

i still respect and love her .

 

i was there 

when this happened 

though i never uttered a word 

but i cant stop me from realising 

that if this is love 

then i am happy 

that i am not in love 

 

I am happy that i never made any promises 

that would be so mercilessly broken 

i am happy i saw no dreams

that would be so harshly  trampled 

if this is love 

i am happy i am single 

 

if love has to end in treachery and faithlessness its prudent never to LOVE 

 

The CountDown Has Begun

Yea finally i am coming to end of college life and peeking at a very uncertain future. My friends are urging me to write something bright on my blog but right now i guess i don't really have a lot to offer. All i have is hope . Hope that this november it will be my time , i will have to work hard yes. I have joined some tut ions but the real pace will pick up at end of MAY i guess . Still this is a very important time and can make or break my cat journey. I am looking forward to move ahead and work hard .
Hope god will help me and to my parents just wanna thank you again for standing by me once again i am not gonna let you down this time trust me on this.
Its gotta be my time that's what my heart i saying lets see what happens :)

Life these days

I don’t know where I am going , sometimes I feel that I am running against the crowd , other times I feel I am let behind. There are a plenty of emotions flowing in me drowning me at times , engulfing me not letting me rest in peace. I feel let down  infact maybe I let myself down .I don’t know what future has in store for me . They say hardwork pays but I don’t know why am I refusing to work hard, I am all but broken.I missed y chances yea right I did but I don’t wana miss them anymore. I want to work hard and make things better than what they presently are. I feel frustrated sometimes , sometimes cheated, I am aimless sometimes .

I have always believed that at the end of long dark tunnel there is light I hope I will make it through this time. I don’t know how much abilities I have to make through this tests, I feel let down yea I have let myself down till now. No one else has to be blamed for this but maybe all this is for something good . If I can make it through life will be good . After all diamond was once a hunk of coal which stood its ground and never gave up .I am not going to accept defeat nay, never ever till I die . I will fight and fight courageously till I make it through. I am no quitter , I am winner and I will prove this to myself.

Times come times go and things change , I will win yes I will survive and come out of this for hardwork never goes waste.

I have dared to dream now I will dream to dare .

Beware of People

That guy is an 'asshole'. He does not know a thing , he will not be able to manage anything. this was said be a friend of me about other person 'A'. Well until a few days ago, this guy was virtually licking A's ass for selection of his work. Well these sycophants are my floor mates, and ya i am ashamed of them. I don't know how any times these people would have mouthed such crap in front of other people. Frankly speaking i don't think these persons should have an existence on the face of this Earth.
Now there is another breed of people , simple straightforward people who say things on face of people. I don't think until you become one of these twisted people you can get through and do any thing and accomplish anything. Gone are the days of talent, skills and potential. Now a days if you have these but don't have contacts you are a big zero.
This is one of the most prominent reasons i hate my college but then its prevalent everywhere.
I have heard if you don't have good relations with your Project Manager you don't get a project. No matter how much talented you are .
Well be ware of your friends , keep your eyes and ears open for it is friends who can harm you more than your foes. And to everyone who is reading this and has done this always remember you will find a person who is more shrewd than you and will fuck you up like you are fucking these people. Every dog has his days.

Obituary

Some people enter this world quitely , struggle all throughout their life to make life of their kids better and finally leave silently , my grand mother was one such person. We will always miss you , all of us. Why did you leave us so early ? I thank you for everything you did so that we can live life which we are living today. For me you will always be a fighter. You have left a void which cannot be filled again, i know from up there you will always be watching us and showering your blessings .

Meri Mummy sabse acchi

This post is dedicated to my mom. Mom had it not been for you , i would not have been where i am. I know all the sacrifices you have made for me. MOM i love you and one day you will be very proud of your son , i will never let you down . I may not be the best son but ya i will always try to be, for i know you are the best mother in this whole world and you deserve nothing but the best. Thanks for everything mom, without i would be like a flower is without its fragrance, you have made my life worthwhile.

Some words from my heart to my ALMA MATER

no mater how much i hate you it will never outdo my love for you .....

Bye – Bye

I sit here to study
as I pick my book up
And turn the pages
One last time
I realize my mind is not here
It is lost some where
Deep down in depths of time

My heart is beating with anticipation
The time to say a final good bye is here
Four years have gone by
But I can’t believe
How fast they flew by

Trying hard to remember
All those sweet and sour memories of
These four years
My mind is confused

What have I learnt my soul asks me
What have I gained my mind questions me ??
And my heart answers
I have now become a man
What I have accumulated
is not knowledge or experience
But some thing much more than that

It’s these memorable memories
of lifelong friends
I made
Which made this journey worthwhile

Away from home
I found a place
Which I could call mine
Away from home
I found some people
Whom I could call family
And to all of you
I want to say
Good luck and good bye
Amit Sharma
05216G
CSE( 05 – 09 )

what do i say ??

When heart breaks it leaves you numb . there is no anger , no pain , no rage , no compassion , no sorrows , no tears i feel nothing as if i have been anasthised . Every time you ask someone you put your heart on ur hand to be kicked at , to be mocked at and rearely to be accepted. You put yourself through a lot of pain and the question now is " Is all this really worth it ?" I dont know i am confused and puzzled. It is not that heartning to see your dreams and your feeling being thrashed but then i am helpless . I don't think i can do much except moving on and consoling my heart . I have to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and walk on. I know things will change , times will change and agony will give way to extascy but when ?? I don't know the answer and i don't want to find it right now .
I am numb and that is what i to be right now JUST NUMB no heartaches, no sorrows , no pains , no guilts just silence and seclusion

A witty conversation

It was one of those days when i had a pretty witty conversation with my friend. I thought i will blog some of it . So, here it goes

Me : Somethings you do in life ,

you can never change ,

so its better you think of the

consequences

Friend : Sometimes getting hurt

is needed to make you grow ,

Failures are needed to make you know ,

losses are needed to make you gain ,

because some lessons are best learnt through

Pain

Me : I know ,

And the bad time will end soon

cause there is light at the end of long dark tunnel

and each morning sun always rise

no matter how dark is the night

Friend : but whats to be done if their is no way out

what's to be done if tunnel is blocked

i know a new road has o be made

but that's not possible

Me : Life doesn't stop it goes on ,

and things don't remain the same ,

they change

Just follow your heart

and you will find your treasure

the tunnel can be made again

if you try

Good Luck

Friend : We always live in hope

and just to console my heart

i am living

rest i don't know

Me : Don't lose hope

life is greater than one person

or thing

no one is larger than life

don't worry about things which are not under

your control

try to control what you can

and be happy for what you have

rather than being sad for what you don't

REDEMPTION

To everyone i have wronged i am sorry , i am too a human afterall , i do make mistakes . I may have broken your heart ,perhaps disappointed you sometimes and not lived up to your expectations....I AM SORRY but i promise i will try and be a better person for every failure , every disappointment helps us GROW .

My Big Plan for 2009

Ah !! 2008 is coming to an end we are in late november and well yes its a little too early but i am thinking about next year and the way my life will be changed. What i plan to do. Well first things first next year in may i will be an engineer finally :) four years of hard work culminating to give me these two words to place before my name :D. Anyways ,all the readers must be knowing i have two job offers Torry Harris and Tech Mahindra but since both these companies have not offered joining to my seniors till now :( . So i have decided to study and give CAT in the mean time , who knows what will happen though. I have been confused whether to go for I A S or CAT but as far as I A S goes it don't think i have two subjects for mains right now .That's why i thin CAT is a better option given that i have an year to produce results , i hope i won't change my plan now and work to bell the cat .Maybe this is a veiled opportunity provided to me by god by delaying my joining and allowing me to prepare for CAT . I hope i will make use of it and make my life better , I still think i will sit for I A S someday but that will have to wait. By the way thank you god for 2 placements this year , joining or no joining i am highly obliged , hoping for more of this in future too.

Whatever happens , happens for Good

Unsatisfied with life ?? Want more out of it ?? Has something happened in past which you can't put right now ?? Do you pine for that some one special and you know life will be beautiful with her but instead of all your efforts you can't be with her . Well don't repent my friend cause whatever happens , happens for a reason . God has in fact created something good for everybody and well you just have to find it instead of loosing heart and getting disheartened. Life is all about moving on and not stopping and repenting at things which we can't achieve but using them as a launch pad for something better then what you have presently. Life is about learning from failures and making them pillars for your future success. In life difficulties have to be faced fought and conquered , and if we have all the successes without any failures then how can be expect to grow ?? If we want to get everything without taking any pain then we can never be happy and contended when we achieve it. For it is well known that he who have worked hard throughout the day can only enjoy a full night's sleep.

Thank you SIR

Well i was coming back after watching the movie Dostana when i meet my tearcher at the ATM.
He was from civil department and did not knew me that well but he knew one of my friends.It was around six and we had to be back in campus by 7 , it usually takes one hour if we come by bus and so we decided to ask our teacher for a lift but seeing she was with her wife we thought otherwise , but he guessed our intentions and offered us the lift himself. Later when we were in car , he said "Mujhe ab bhi yaaad hai in my bachelor days tumhare jaise hii humm bhi teachers ki gaddi ke samne chale jaate thee aur phir agar lift mill jaati to kitne khuss hote thee." Life runs real fast maybe one day i will be at his place giving lifts to someone perhaps a junior telling him about my college days . One day i would have a car and a wife too ...and a lot of memories of these days which are flying like a whirlwind.