Letter to Santa

DEAR Santa,

Last few days I have been thinking, and I have been thinking hard about why I feel so alone and so helpless at times. Why I feel that ‘nobody cares’ and mystically enough I have been coming up with joyful answers. I believe that it doesn’t matter if no one cares cause I have a loving family which cares and that’s what I need everything else at the moment is materialistic. There have been some failures in last few months which have heart breaking but despite that my heart, mind body and soul wants me to try once again and so will I. Often I have quietly accepted thing lying down , I have silently said to myself “ You Can’t have Everything In Life” and moved on but na not this time. I believe it is time to rise up and fight. I believe it’s the time to give it a whole hearted try ,cause five to ten years down the lane I would not like to cry over lost opportunities. I think its time to shed all my inhibitions ,all my fears and be reborn . Revitalized with a new verve to take on the challenges this world has to offer. It will be tough times I know and I will miss you my friend , but I guess I will overcome it cause there are people who stand behind me like a rock and I know no matter what the situation is they will always be there, Thank you god and Thank you my Family.
Ok so here is my new year resolution that whenever I am down I will remember my family and day to myself well do hell with this world , I will do live for them ,and above all I will live for myself. I know all through these 19 years of existence I have held myself back , I have underestimated my abilities but from now on I promise myself to give it a shot no matter what the result it. After all its my life and I want my decisions to shape it. So all I can say is it would have been great if you would have been here with me my estranged friend ,but even if you are not life isn’t that bad . Merry Christmas and a happy new year. Hope this is one of the most successful years of my life and to all those people who cared to read this well hope you have a great year too .
Cheerz !!!

by Santa
I hope i keep my promises

DREAMS

Tagged

Neha tagged me. Earlier Umang also tagged me but I was a lil busy so couldn’t reply . I am sorry ,but here I am free . I am at home these days and having all day at my disposal . The world it seems has come to a halt.
After all those hectic exams it is a relief but more importantly its time I must utilize for preparing myself for placements coming up in February. I hope I will enjoy my self at the campus.
Anyways coming back to tag , you have to tell about your dreams . Now I am a day dreamer , all day I think about my dreams . Sometimes , I want to start my own business by opening a Small Stock Analyzing Company which helps people become rich by giving them advice on which stocks they should buy . Other times I would like to try a hand at the services sector , taking on lease the cafeteria of my college and running it 24*7 . Make no mistake about it I will yield a turnover of 50 – 60 lakhs annually ,given the lack of any good restaurants in the vicinity of my college but of both of these things to happen , I need to do Mba from a good college and that’s what my dream is . With cat only a year away I dream of making it to one of the premier instis like in the iim’s and having a challenging time there . Its not going to be easy but then that’s how dreams are meant to be . They are meant to push you , till you reach the pinnacle isn’t it??

I have lived a life in these instis ,through all the pictures , one of my friend is in iim –a ,and he is my constant inspiration . I hope one day I’ll be there too , hmmm so much for the professional dreams .
On a personal level nothing gives me more satisfaction the writing , I would love to be a writer perhaps write a column occasionally for a newspaper sometime in future . Dreams … hmmm
What a feeling it would be that millions of people are reading what u wrote and that’s putting a smile on their faces !! What you write makes them forget all their troubles for a few moments . or gives them courage to stand up and fight back .

I also have a dream to open an Ngo which will help all street children by educating them . This is the thing I want to do , and for this I need money and my business I hope ,will be providing me with funds.What else ?? I have a lot of dreams I can go on till eternity but yaa I dream about finding that one special person people call “ LOVE”. Yup one day I would like to be crazy about someone ,love someone so much that I can put my existence on hold for that person .
Last but not the least I would like to fulfill every expectation my mom and dad have from me . Mom you are my rock , you have really been with me through my tough times , and I assure you one day you’ll be very Proud of me ---Luv you.

Thanks neha , if you hadn’t tagged me I would have never written these things down and this is the sort of post I really needed to write to push myself at this hour .

Magic or Mafia ??

ok folks happy diwali to all of you . Diwali for me wasnt that great , i was in my college missed home and mall (pun intended). Anyways my college is in Guna (m.p) a remote place though it is theconstituency of Scindia's ,who are in fact the rulers of erst Gwalior . Perhaps they are busy with the politics in delhi and dnt care for the people here whom they take for granted as they are their Raja . Ok leaving the politics aside , Guna being a remote place has a lot of weird people ,their are A gang of Dakuus here too ( phulan devi Types).

So i banged into one of these people yesterday on diwali .It was dusk ,sun was biddind a goodbye and i was in a hurry to return to my campus.I had gone to Guna (main city ,college bein 30ks off it) to buy some crackers,candles etc . I am my friend were going to bus stop when a baggar came and asked for a rupee. It was Diwali ,i did not wanted to turn away this beggar i didnt had a ruppe so i gave him a coin of two instead and was about to proceed when this Man asked me to take his blessings. I thought why not , he picked up a stone ,and from no where another person came around , i dnt know what had happened to my mind as i never noticed his presence . i guess when we are busy we dnt really care about minute things , so this person came up i never protested his coming . The beggar took up a pebble and then second person (who came up recently) told me to wrap it up in a note . I looked in my purse and saw i had only a thousand note and two hundred notes , i took out one and wraped the pebble in it . The person now made me fold my hand into a Mutthi , and kept one of his hand over it , then he made me close my eyes and recite "Jai Mata Dii" .


And when i opened this mutthi to my amazement and horror ,my Rs 100 had changed into a locket . i was dumbstruck . I never realised when the 100 rs note slipped out of my hand and turned into a locket .

Was it magic or a trick ??

I am left wondering still but i guess it was a trick , these person told me to keep the locket with me always and went away .Now with all this happening , i wasnt alone my friend was woth me too . He managed to fool both of us .I still dont know how he managed to get that 100 bucks out and slip in the Tabeez . I kept the tabeez in a temple as my friends advised me , but still kind of
bugs me as to how this person made a fool out of me too easily , I decided to have no mercy on begaars anymore , world is so callous i used to think . I guess incidents like these makes people callous and i am being no exception afterall fr this money my parents had to toils hard > though i was lucky it could have been a thousands note too .


Although i do admire this person's "hath ki safai" as my friend said . Black magic said another friend but i am still wondering , though would love to meet this person again and this time i will be prepared with a fake note .

Anyways when we come across these situation i dnt know what happens to our mind , i believe all people must have had experiences when the mind doesn't know whats happening. This was a game and a trick i realised later cause i started talking with a beggar when the other person saw i was in their trap and i had given them a coin ,only then he came out of no-where.

And he befooled me as if i was a baby , it was a weird experience and i think i will be much more careful next time ,these persons always target you when ypou are alone or if you are not in a big group .

Its important to be a little vigilant cause these persons will rob you in front of your eyes and worse you cant even label them as theives.

kargil::from mouth of a soldier

Another train journey and here I am with another varied experience. Na its not about poor people this time .Its about the people who fight for you, its about people who lay their life for you and you don’t even know them, its about people who risk their life every time so that you can live safely in your home, its about the people who don’t get to see their families or celebrate festivals with them are they not privileged enough??? Na it’s not about privilege. Maybe they are the luckiest people around because they are serving their Motherland. No marks for guessing now, ya it’s about our soldiers who are there fighting for us at the border, keeping vigil. There are those bodos in Assam with their deadly traps , the naxals in Andhra , and pak funded terrorists in J&K .If it hadn’t been for such a strong army India would have dissolved into small states a long time ago .

I met this person oh I must correct myself , I met this soldier belonging to 4th Para Jumpers at delhi .He was traveling to Agra. In a free wheeling conversation between my friend ,myself and this jawan this is what I gotta hear and conclude ::

The guy belonged to himachal , ok you can accuse me of being a state chauvinist but this conversation owe its origin to the fact that three of us belonged to same state , anyways moving further . I was not much interested about this guy and went to my berth in the coach but when the topic of kargil came about I was forced to stand up and listen . The soldier said

“ Before this we have only seen wars in many films but it was Kargil which gave us an opportunity to fight one. We were told that it was a normal jump and air lifted from Agra. Some of people did not have their lunch too but soon they realized it was not normal jump as they were no parachutes around , it was time for Action .”

Now what the hell was Indian Army thinking , how can they lift soldiers up without telling them where they are going , the people landed in Srinagar an hour and half later.

These people were not allowed to leave the premises of the airport and same place where food for 500 people was used for cooking food for 3000 people. There was a fracas for food , with people josting for a single munch , anyways it was time of war and I guess the people had no other option but too satiate their hunger by tasting blood rather then food.
After food these people were given dress and ammunition , mainly a gun and a bag weighing 25kgs containing first aid, some pills of vitamins .

When I asked him about how many days you can survive in these pills in their bag he said

“ two days . and added that their task was to relieve the jawans of Rajputana Rifles (who were fighting in the peaks ) , they were to supply them with ammo,food and medicines and fight and go further top of the hill and try to capture the peak .

The Strategy was simple :

WE were divided into buddy pairs the mantra was “ Survival . chahe job hi hoo jaaye saathi ki jaan naa jaane paaye.”

and their order was to kill the enemy and capture the peak at all costs . The enemy he said mainly were jawans of Pakistan . now all of us knew that first casualty of Kargil War was Amol Kalia and then Saurabh Kalia respectively , from the body of Saurabh Kalia eight kgs of nails were recovered , he quipped . Saying that every pore in his body had a nail hammered into it. All his nails were ripped off .

Then he told about his own role telling us that he fought for 52 days , supplying soldiers with medicines ,ammo and battling enemy . He said for four days continuously at a strech he had no food , One incident he told about was how he gave water to a Pakistani soldier who fell to his feet begging . Humanity does exist in that battlefield as well where you can fell prey to that hungry bullet searching for your body anytime .

Bofors ::

Controversy or no controversy bofors did the job for us ,told the Jawan. He said that it shook everything each and every bunker of the enemy .
Speaking of bunkers he said that the enemy made permanent cemented bunkers on the top of peaks and filled them with ammunition which could last years . They had even captured schools in some locations . The air force he said was helpful but never had much accuracy.

When I reached home I had beard, my face was chaffed, hair was sticky as resembled that of a sadhu , and my body stinked told the jawan .

Some Serious Stuff

Ok people , i told some of you that i work as a free lancer for a site , well many of you asked me to show what i write to get paid. Well money mor me never mattered its just 40 buks for a post but its the feeling you get when one of the peices you write is selected by the editors . I do this for creative gratification non the less ,its gotta be done seriously else the post is rejected here comes one of my recent posts which was accepted by the editors of the site ::


World oil production peaked in 2006 and is likely to reduce to half of current production in 2030 . Peak Oil represents the situation when amount of oil that can be extracted in a year begins to decline , because geological limitations are reached. Digging up of oil becomes more and more difficult ,so the costs increase and oil production decreases.

This decline in production is due to reduction of pressure in the oil fields. This reduction in pressure takes place as we drill oil. It becomes necessary to inject gases in the oil wells to increase pressure. Finally, even when this ceases to keep up the production oil is pumped up at a slow rate.

Germany based Energy Watch Group , an association of scientists and parliamentarians released a report titled Crude Oil: The Supply Outlook, in which it is concluded that oil production peaked at 81 million barrels a day r Mb/d in 2006 , much earlier than most experts had forecast.
The report which comes only a few days after global oil production hit a record high , has
also predicted that global oil production will fall several per cent each year and by mid 2030 it will be 39 Mb/d.

Hans-Josef,the group's founder and German Mp,told

The world soon will not be able to produce all the oil it needs as demand is rising while supply is falling. This is a huge problem for the world economy.

This report is in sharp contrast to International Energy Agency's remarks which denies that such essential changes are going to happen in the near mid-term future.

The report said that IEA's message that business as usual will be possible in near future is not reflecting the true state of affairs .

Just Life

Two and a half years are over , just one & half more and i will be out of college . Ready to take on the World , a computer engineer ...... I dont know who deserves the degree me or my parents who are really paying huge bucks to see me as an Engineer . Coming back to college ya i can still remember distinctly the first day , when i got up and went to temple and then started on this journey . Seems like yesterday , when i had to wish everybody , and look at the irony the same place i am sitting down and writing this peice ,i was ragged ,not ferociously but yes i was ragged .

Then came that Great War of first sem , and it was over soon . I have enetered the second , and had a wake up call when my roomie decided to shift his room , SO i shifted my Hostel to H -4 . Secod sem was masti time never touchedmy books still remeber that black friday when this Prof caught me copying and assigned me a D grade , tha grade will be in my grade sheet forever . Anyways third sem came ......
more on this later
A fitting reply to my infirmity , anyways moving on i had a new partner

Thoughts

I think ,you think and will all think i also thought and these are my thoughts . I dont know about you but i like ths poem , again composed when i was ill ... and taking a holiday



I thought you and me ,
together we had a future,
little did i knew
that the present would betray me
when i found you ,
i thought i found someone ,
different from everyother one

hurt i am now to realise ,
you can never be that "special one "
i thought tomorrow belonged to you and me,
pained i am to know that we couldnt even survive today's Melee
And i know its not your fault ,
but can't blame myself either ....
after i met you i thought,
" that never ending "search has finally ended ,
who was i to know?
that i stand to lose ,
the mental peace and contenment
i had earlier